dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so let's talk penis.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
