a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
