she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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