how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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