He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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