her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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