Tell her she can't have a vagina
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
