At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
