take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
