Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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