I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
