Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
