they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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