Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
40s are totally the cure
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
