how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
