I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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