I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
