I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize