Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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