I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
