Please, let me fuck your mom
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
