Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
4 words: hood of his car
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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