Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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