He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
