just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
His wife found the thong I āforgotā in his glovebox
Randomize
