she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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