i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
