half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
why is half of my head shaved?
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