I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
