Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
