You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
