it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
