Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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