u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
