I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
