Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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