Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
