Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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