I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize