everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
