Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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