I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize