well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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