What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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