i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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