You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
