I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I still have a little drunk in my system
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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