We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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