I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
