i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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