He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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