Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Drake has all the answers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
