Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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