I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
