I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
