Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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