they need to just BURY HIM!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
