its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize