I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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