So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
